I've started running again.
It is always awful at the beginning.
But my friend Jen, who runs lots of races of unspeakable lengths, told me today that it takes at least six weeks to gain fitness.
And only two to lose it.
I'm on my way though, running approximately 3 miles a day.
"Let's start at the awful beginning. It's a very good place to start."
Aug 27, 2009
the dark side
"Hold on.... she might be firing a patient."
"What does that mean?" I wondered as I waited to meet with the oncologist I was shadowing for the day.
Embarrassed, I wondered if that was medical slang I didn't know for starting someone's chemo treatment.... sort of like firing an engine or a gun. Shortly after that, in a rather Scrubs kind of moment, I imagined a line of patients covered in ceramic gaze, ready to be fired in a kiln like pieces of pottery.
But no, my creativity was mistaken. A doctor can "fire" a patient, or terminate their contractual treatment relationship, under certain extraordinary circumstances. For reasons of privacy, I won't detail the situation, but suffice it to say, there are those who abuse the medical system.
As a kindred bleeding heart, I could tell the doctor was shaken by the experience. She apologized to me and halfheartedly joked that after a day with her, I would probably go screaming to the hills.
Quite the opposite, the whole experience was comforting in a weird way. I know that I'm idealistic and naive, but when the rubber hits the road, I think... I hope... that I would rise to the challenge of dealing with people who are sick and want help.... or people who are sick and don't want help..... or people who pretend to be sick.... or finally and most dauntingly, people who are sick but for no apparent or discernible reason.
I think that's at least part of what a doctor does.
"What does that mean?" I wondered as I waited to meet with the oncologist I was shadowing for the day.
Embarrassed, I wondered if that was medical slang I didn't know for starting someone's chemo treatment.... sort of like firing an engine or a gun. Shortly after that, in a rather Scrubs kind of moment, I imagined a line of patients covered in ceramic gaze, ready to be fired in a kiln like pieces of pottery.
But no, my creativity was mistaken. A doctor can "fire" a patient, or terminate their contractual treatment relationship, under certain extraordinary circumstances. For reasons of privacy, I won't detail the situation, but suffice it to say, there are those who abuse the medical system.
As a kindred bleeding heart, I could tell the doctor was shaken by the experience. She apologized to me and halfheartedly joked that after a day with her, I would probably go screaming to the hills.
Quite the opposite, the whole experience was comforting in a weird way. I know that I'm idealistic and naive, but when the rubber hits the road, I think... I hope... that I would rise to the challenge of dealing with people who are sick and want help.... or people who are sick and don't want help..... or people who pretend to be sick.... or finally and most dauntingly, people who are sick but for no apparent or discernible reason.
I think that's at least part of what a doctor does.
Aug 24, 2009
road trip
My friend Chris and I recently planned a spontaneous road trip. Now you may ask, "How does one plan a spontaneous road trip?" Well, according to us, pick a day to start and finish as well as a few people to see. Don't plan anything else in advance....just make it up as you go along.
Our trip turned out to be a glorious adventure! And although it did not really advance my two year goals specifically, I visited UPenn's Medical campus briefly. That seems like enough justification to write about the trip here. :)
Here's the run down:
Our trip turned out to be a glorious adventure! And although it did not really advance my two year goals specifically, I visited UPenn's Medical campus briefly. That seems like enough justification to write about the trip here. :)
Here's the run down:
- 2 people, namely Chris and Amy
- 57.5 hours total
- ~748 miles traveled
- 5 states traversed (Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Delaware)
- 3 tanks of gas
- People seen: Amy's parents; Amy's high school friends; Simran, Chris's friend and coworker; Alyse, Amy's sister; and our mutual friend, Kerri, and her grandparents
- $11.95 in tolls
- 8 U-turns
- 12.5 CDs heard while driving
- 6 ears of corn eaten (with butter)
- a questionable amount of ozone destroyed while observing a tractor pull at the Franklin County Fair (green trip??....oops)
- 2 dairy cow shows witnessed
- 1 chinchilla located in Amy's senior yearbook
- ~7 times Chris said "Oh my gosh! I love Julia Child/Meryl Streep!!"
- 2 pieces of "meat substitute" that looked like watermelon candy in Chris's noodle soup while visiting Sim
- 1 poser university (There was a sign on Univeristy of Penn's campus that said "The Nation's First University." We, as W&M alumns, were incensed.)
- 2 attempted entrances/break-ins into Penn buildings
- Only 1 successful entrance (the Hyperbaric Medicine Building) after begging to use the bathrooms
- 4 bus rides
- 1 student art exhibit attended
- 1 bubble milk tea in Philly's Chinatown (It was for Chris, but Amy was brave and tried it.)
- 2 historic sites visited (Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell museum)
- 1 historic site that basically looked like the W&M Wren building (Independence Hall)
- 5 layers of clothing soaked in Philly rains
- 2 Scientology centers walked passed offering "free stress tests"
- 1 Quaker meeting house front yard visited
- 0 (+/- 1 gymnasium) places of worship actually attended
- 30 miles traveled to "nearest" Target
- 12 Target aisle searched for earplugs for Alyse
- 0 times Kerri mowed her lawn because she visited with us
- 4 sleeping arrangements without air conditioning
- 5 fans used
- infinite number of "I feel that" statements
- 3 times we heard Elton John's "Yellow Brick Road"
- 15 meals
- 4 ice cream trips
- lots of snacks to ensure that Chris didn't eat Amy
- 2 times Chris bit himself
- 0 times Chris bit Amy (success!)
- 1 personal stick of butter
Aug 19, 2009
80 hours
Yesterday, I hung out with my friend Mark and a bunch of other med students. They told me a crazy story about a M4 who neglected to log any hours on most of his rotations. The computer log did detail that he had completed 80 hours of breast exams. It is unknown whether it was a clerical error; however, the general consensus is that it is quite possibly true. Just your friendly reminder that doctors are just (sometimes creepy) humans.
In all seriousness though, I have great respect for aspiring medical professionals of all kinds (docs, nurses, researchers, etc). And I really enjoyed my time hanging out with them. I attended several different types of classes, sat in on a pathology lab complete with 3 formaldehyde drenched displays (brain, heart, and prostate gland if you're curious), and stole pizza from an M1 orientation lunch. I even attended a minor league baseball game to round out the evening. Of course, that last part of the day would be substituted with studying normally, but it's early enough in the school year that everyone is relatively carefree.
There was a certain comfort in the experience. While I don't think it would be a good strategy to base my decision about whether or not to become a doctor on what med school is like (as opposed to what being a doctor is like), there is some peace in recognizing that I would probably appreciate the educational experience. It's not good to hate your life for 4 years if you can avoid it. Because if you do, you might end up giving 80 hours of questionable breast exams.
And let's be honest.... that's not healthy for anyone.
In all seriousness though, I have great respect for aspiring medical professionals of all kinds (docs, nurses, researchers, etc). And I really enjoyed my time hanging out with them. I attended several different types of classes, sat in on a pathology lab complete with 3 formaldehyde drenched displays (brain, heart, and prostate gland if you're curious), and stole pizza from an M1 orientation lunch. I even attended a minor league baseball game to round out the evening. Of course, that last part of the day would be substituted with studying normally, but it's early enough in the school year that everyone is relatively carefree.
There was a certain comfort in the experience. While I don't think it would be a good strategy to base my decision about whether or not to become a doctor on what med school is like (as opposed to what being a doctor is like), there is some peace in recognizing that I would probably appreciate the educational experience. It's not good to hate your life for 4 years if you can avoid it. Because if you do, you might end up giving 80 hours of questionable breast exams.
And let's be honest.... that's not healthy for anyone.
Aug 14, 2009
med schools don't like quitters
I have already made a valiant attempt to fail at goal 1: finishing my graduate Master of Public Policy (MPP) degree. Recently, several opportunities (internships, jobs, gummy bears) have presented themselves and subtly but convincingly, made me want to quit.
However, the pre-med adviser (who is a wonderful woman who I really respect and trust) just wrote to me, saying, "Medical schools would probably take a very dim of you dropping out of graduate school. Actually, it would look as though you were a person who didn't follow through on her commitments, and that would be a significant negative factor in your applicant profile. Perseverance is a major selection factor for medical school. [...] Medical schools really don't like quitters."
And so, my plans are foiled. However, I am going to rock at perseverance. Seriously.
PS. I have recently discovered this website, ModCloth. Since I am busy spending lots of money being a perseverant graduate student, I will not be purchasing anything any time soon. But if you are a girl (or just really like dresses regardless), you should check it out.
However, the pre-med adviser (who is a wonderful woman who I really respect and trust) just wrote to me, saying, "Medical schools would probably take a very dim of you dropping out of graduate school. Actually, it would look as though you were a person who didn't follow through on her commitments, and that would be a significant negative factor in your applicant profile. Perseverance is a major selection factor for medical school. [...] Medical schools really don't like quitters."
And so, my plans are foiled. However, I am going to rock at perseverance. Seriously.
PS. I have recently discovered this website, ModCloth. Since I am busy spending lots of money being a perseverant graduate student, I will not be purchasing anything any time soon. But if you are a girl (or just really like dresses regardless), you should check it out.
Aug 11, 2009
the list
In approximately two years, I will begin medical school-- fingers crossed. Of course, if I have an identity crisis and move to LA or Ghana (which are about equally likely) or if the admission gods frown upon me, this might not happen.
But barring these circumstances, I have about 730 days to spend before I undertake that challenge.
And unfortunately, I am at risk of wasting these days being discontented. I'm prone to thinking that once I take on a new challenge, then my life will begin and will be meaningful, exciting and significant. After all, the grass is always greener on the other side, right?
I know that this attitude is not healthy or realistic. A children's story from Adventures from the Book of Virtues comes to mind in which a boy is given a magic ball of string which he can unravel during painful or boring times of life. He pulls it occasionally to avoid math exams or chores, but as he makes more and more frequent uses of the magic ball, he is shocked to find he comes to the end of his life. Then he wishes he could rewind time to relive every moment to its fullest. Sappy but true.
So in order to fight the great fight against unrealistic feelings of insignificance, monotony, and mundaness (which I didn't think was a word but is according to the dictionary), I have created a list of goals to accomplish in this time. They are ambitious-- at least in my opinion. But if they weren't, they wouldn't feel worth my time. So here goes....
1) Finish my masters degree
This might seem like a stupid goal since I'm halfway done. But since I don't really fit my program that well and sometimes I really hate it, it's a test in patience and endurance. For future reference, I'm in a Master of Public Policy (MPP) program. And yes, we like alliteration.
2) Run a marathon
My bestfriend, Erica, has informed me many times that the first guy to run a marathon finished and then died. This is meant to discourage me, but it hasn't worked yet.
3) Be in a movie
This does not have to be a big movie or even a good movie-- just something to scratch the itch of a very relentless artsy bug.
4) Travel to a foreign country
I don't really care where but Canada doesn't count (no offense).
5) Cook through a cookbook
I'm totally ripping this off from the recently released movie Julie and Julia. But I'm not nearly as ambitious. I plan to choose a much smaller cookbook, and I have a much more generous timeline. I haven't decided on one yet. I'll keep you posted.
6) Take a photography class
Hopefully this will happen before the trip to a foreign country.
7) Write a screenplay
I have had an idea for a screenplay for awhile now, and since I have a bunch of film friends, I think I should follow through with it. And again, it doesn't really have to be good necessarily. Just mine.
8) Take a yoga class
And maybe meditation? We'll see if I'm that patient.
9) Prepare for and apply to medical school
This includes finishing a number of undergraduate classes and labs as well as taking the MCAT. Necessary evil.
10) Visit a diversity of worship places and/or services
I have really only experienced different flavors of Christianity, and I would like to learn more about other religions and cultures.
So there it is. The plan. I'll write about my experiences here, mostly just to keep myself accountable. I'll probably write about other random things as well because writing has therapeutic effects on me. In this way, I am just like scores of other self-focused bloggers. But at least I admit it. And honestly I hope that you, imaginary reader, get joy out of this as a very wonderful and fairly unexpected side effect.
Finally, I never know how to sign off on letters or posts. I love the farewell "shalom" but I kind of feel like a poser because I am not Jewish. I love it because it means something to the effect of "peace be unto you" or "be safe and complete." And in some way, I think that is what we are all looking for. And that is what this two year adventure is about.
So, shalom to you, imaginary reader.
But barring these circumstances, I have about 730 days to spend before I undertake that challenge.
And unfortunately, I am at risk of wasting these days being discontented. I'm prone to thinking that once I take on a new challenge, then my life will begin and will be meaningful, exciting and significant. After all, the grass is always greener on the other side, right?
I know that this attitude is not healthy or realistic. A children's story from Adventures from the Book of Virtues comes to mind in which a boy is given a magic ball of string which he can unravel during painful or boring times of life. He pulls it occasionally to avoid math exams or chores, but as he makes more and more frequent uses of the magic ball, he is shocked to find he comes to the end of his life. Then he wishes he could rewind time to relive every moment to its fullest. Sappy but true.
So in order to fight the great fight against unrealistic feelings of insignificance, monotony, and mundaness (which I didn't think was a word but is according to the dictionary), I have created a list of goals to accomplish in this time. They are ambitious-- at least in my opinion. But if they weren't, they wouldn't feel worth my time. So here goes....
1) Finish my masters degree
This might seem like a stupid goal since I'm halfway done. But since I don't really fit my program that well and sometimes I really hate it, it's a test in patience and endurance. For future reference, I'm in a Master of Public Policy (MPP) program. And yes, we like alliteration.
2) Run a marathon
My bestfriend, Erica, has informed me many times that the first guy to run a marathon finished and then died. This is meant to discourage me, but it hasn't worked yet.
3) Be in a movie
This does not have to be a big movie or even a good movie-- just something to scratch the itch of a very relentless artsy bug.
4) Travel to a foreign country
I don't really care where but Canada doesn't count (no offense).
5) Cook through a cookbook
I'm totally ripping this off from the recently released movie Julie and Julia. But I'm not nearly as ambitious. I plan to choose a much smaller cookbook, and I have a much more generous timeline. I haven't decided on one yet. I'll keep you posted.
6) Take a photography class
Hopefully this will happen before the trip to a foreign country.
7) Write a screenplay
I have had an idea for a screenplay for awhile now, and since I have a bunch of film friends, I think I should follow through with it. And again, it doesn't really have to be good necessarily. Just mine.
8) Take a yoga class
And maybe meditation? We'll see if I'm that patient.
9) Prepare for and apply to medical school
This includes finishing a number of undergraduate classes and labs as well as taking the MCAT. Necessary evil.
10) Visit a diversity of worship places and/or services
I have really only experienced different flavors of Christianity, and I would like to learn more about other religions and cultures.
So there it is. The plan. I'll write about my experiences here, mostly just to keep myself accountable. I'll probably write about other random things as well because writing has therapeutic effects on me. In this way, I am just like scores of other self-focused bloggers. But at least I admit it. And honestly I hope that you, imaginary reader, get joy out of this as a very wonderful and fairly unexpected side effect.
Finally, I never know how to sign off on letters or posts. I love the farewell "shalom" but I kind of feel like a poser because I am not Jewish. I love it because it means something to the effect of "peace be unto you" or "be safe and complete." And in some way, I think that is what we are all looking for. And that is what this two year adventure is about.
So, shalom to you, imaginary reader.
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